What to Expect from Play Therapy
Oftentimes, when parents first inquire about therapy for their child, they ask me, “what can we expect from this?”. This is such a great question! Play therapy can seem, in many ways, very foreign and confusing. Especially for adults. Why? Several reasons. First, play therapy is a space where the child gets to decide what we do in session (specifically with client-centered play therapy). Some parents may hear this and immediately have some resistance, and understandably so! They may wonder, how is this going to help my kid if they just get to go into your playroom and do whatever they want? I hear you. AND, this is when the magic happens.
Kids all too often are being told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it in almost every single area of their life. Kids seldom have freedom in this world we live in, and it stops them from exploring the world and themselves in a way that feels natural to them. When a child is given the freedom to choose what we do in the playroom, they immediately feel the cage of rules disappear. They will intuitively choose activities that interest them, whether that be board games, sandtray, dress-up, dollhouse play, etc. I’ve had the honor of witnessing children explore who they truly are and experience the world in ways they usually don’t get to.
Children NEED the chance to engage in free play. They crave this. Imagine how it’d feel to be told what to do and how to do it all day, every day? Annoying. Suffocating. Infuriating. This is a child’s experience the majority of the time. And the younger they are the less freedom they have. When a child feels like they have control, anxiety disappears. Unstructured play time is an essential piece of what a child needs when they are going through a hard time. In a world that tends to be extremely structured, releasing this control can be incredibly powerful.
Additionally, when a child is offered freedom, their confidence begins to grow. They begin to learn what they like and don’t like. They learn what brings them joy, pain, fear, sadness, and anger. They learn what feels good and what doesn’t, in a space that is safe and with someone who does not judge them, but rather supports them in this process. They begin to experience having autonomy and take accountability for their actions. We cannot expect someone to grow, heal, and confidently make choices if we are constantly taking that opportunity away.
Another reason play therapy can seem foreign and confusing is the therapist and client will play throughout their time together. Parents may hear this and think, “how is that helping them?”. Valid question! My job as a therapist is to support my clients along their journey. I do not tell them what to do, rather I help them find what feels right for them. No one person is the same, and I treat each client as such. What may work for one person may not work for another, and that’s ok! Do I discuss coping strategies with my clients? Of course. AND the child has the opportunity to intuitely choose activities in the playroom that they want to work on. For example, a child who is struggling with feelings of powerlessness, anger, and resentment may choose to play war utilizing dart guns, handcuffs, or a bop bag with the therapist. The child is integrating and processing all of their feelings of powerlessness, anger, and resentment during this play. Once they reach a sense of resolution they may move on to another activity.
Therapy for children looks very different from therapy for adults. Children experience the same relief, resolution, growth, and healing that adults experience in traditional talk therapy. Play is the natural medium of communication for children, and as the therapist who is trained in this, we engage with them on this level. We will not see the results we want if we force children to utilize a language that is not developmentally appropriate for them. So no, play therapy does not involve a lot of talking, it involves mostly playing. Throughout my 5+ years of working with children, I’ve seen how helpful this modality is. I learn way more about a child, their life, and struggles through play than I do from talking with them. The experience of play therapy is difficult for me to put into words, because the magic of play therapy is felt, not seen. It’s a felt sense of safety, healing, growth, and joy. Play truly is magic.
